A Dance I Do
When to speak up? when to stay silent?
This dance occurs frequently these days. Sometimes when a political issue comes up and I’m in the company of folks who see things very differently than I do, and I’m outnumbered. As a vegan, I’m almost always in the minority.
Recently I was spending time with a neighbor who has become a friend. We were attending the No Kings rally. Politically, we’re on the same page. While not vegan, she is unconditionally supportive of my veganism.
We were chatting about a trip one of her sons was taking with his children. She excitedly showed me a photo of her granddaughter reeling in a fish from the back of a boat. She said: ‘Amy’s first fish’. As you can imagine, I did not share in her excitement. My inclination was to say something like: ‘the poor fish’. Or, ‘teaching them early not to respect another life’. I said neither.
I almost always, automatically, put myself in the others’ shoes. I’m not sure if it is because I’ve been a practicing psychologist for over 30 years, or because it’s just my nature. I didn’t want to burst my friend’s bubble of excitement. Quickly afterward though, in these situations, I think about the fish, and what s/he represents. A being with a desire to live. A being without a voice. Then I ask myself - which is more important: supporting my friend’s excitement? Or, advocating for animals?
In most situations, when I don’t think I will be offensive, I take the side of the animals. In situations like this, I defer.
A conundrum. A dance.
What’s it like for you? Do you lean more in one direction or another? Do you do a dance depending on the situation?